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Active Listening for Peer Supporters

Attend, reflect, clarify, validate — the four building blocks of listening, plus what to avoid.

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Peer support is not treatment. If someone may be at risk of harm, involve a trusted adult, your school's safeguarding lead, a qualified professional or emergency services. See our safeguarding statement.

Active Listening — A Reading Guide for Peer Supporters

Adapted for NIPE from public-domain frameworks published by the U.S. Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), and the World Health Organization (WHO) — all works of government or intergovernmental bodies in the public domain.

1. What active listening is

Active listening is the practice of receiving what another person shares — words, tone, body language, and emotion — without rushing to solve, judge, or redirect. It signals: "You are being heard."

2. The four building blocks

  1. Attend. Face the person. Soften your posture. Put your phone away. Signal presence.
  2. Reflect. Mirror short pieces of what you heard — in your own words. "It sounds like today felt really heavy."
  3. Clarify. Ask open questions. "What was hardest about it?" — never "why did you…?"
  4. Validate. Name the feeling as legitimate. "That makes sense given what happened."

3. What to avoid

  • Interrupting to share your own story.
  • Fixing before feelings are heard ("just try to…").
  • Minimising ("everyone goes through this").
  • Reassurance that skips the pain ("you'll be fine!").

4. A 60-second script you can use

"I'm here. Take your time. Do you want me to just listen, or would you like ideas?"

Then wait. Silence is not empty — it is space.

5. When to loop in an adult

If a peer shares thoughts of self-harm, suicide, abuse, or is in immediate danger, tell a trusted adult (school counsellor, teacher, parent). You are a support, not a substitute for care.

Sources (public domain):

  • WHO, Psychological First Aid: Guide for Field Workers (2011).
  • SAMHSA, A Practical Guide to Psychological First Aid materials.
  • NIH / NIMH, adolescent mental-health public health guidance.

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